When You’re Feeling Stressed and Defeated

These last few months have been a lot for me. From bad health, to stress, lack of sleep, house hunting, and job stress. Just surviving the every day seems like too much right now. Lately I have been feeling nothing but stress, anxiety, headaches, and all the weird symptoms that come with it. I have felt stressed and defeated.

Feeling Defeated

Feelings of defeat can come from any where. They can creep in slowly or hit you like a freight train. Maybe you have been worried it was going to happen, knew it was inevitable, or never thought it would happen to you.

You could feel generally crappy during the everyday.

Maybe your depression is getting worse (or you’re wondering if maybe you have depression).

Do you feel like everything is against you? That you just can’t get ahead?

Do the things you love seem to be a burden, or that there is not enough time or energy in a day to enjoy them?

Does it feel like there is no end, no light at the end of the tunnel?

You Can Overcome This

It’s never easy to overcome burnout, but it is possible. I’m going through this myself, and sometimes the hardest thing is taking your own advice.

I’m not going to lie and say it’s easy. Or that it doesn’t take a couple tries. When you’re over stressed and feeling defeated, nothing seems easy or fast enough.

Be patient.

Here’s what you do.

Find out the cause.
Is it your job, your living situation, a person, your health, school, financial, emotional, eating habits. What is it that is causing you to burn out? Once you’ve figured out the cause you can…

Make a plan.
Make a plan for getting out of or changing the situation that is causing the stress and burnout. Now this can be something you can change quickly, or something that could take anywhere from months to years. Hence the plan. Get a piece of paper for the fridge if it’s something quick. Or a calendar/planner for anything that is going to take time.

Make your plan. Whether it is job hunting (its easier to find a job when you still have one!), getting out of your living situation by saving money, renting with others, finding a new place. Sometimes we try to make things work out of habit, instead of making a drastic change that we need.

Make your plan and put it on the fridge to remind yourself everyday of what you are working on. Carry your planner around, make changes and TRACK UPDATES! Seeing your progress will makes things seem a lot easier!

Point form what you need. Eg, Money, time, better job, a house, new apartment, away from bad roommates or neighbours, etc. Write up your plan and work towards it every day.

Now this may sound too easy. It is. There are going to be days that you still feel like it is too much, and that you will never see the end goal.

So here’s what to do.

Find your self care.
When you’re stressed and defeated, you need time to relax. You need time to blow off steam and enjoy the little things. I know that is hard when there is no time, no money, and nothing seems enjoyable.

This is where I am right now. Mid plan, and nothing seems enjoyable.

Find your self care, use your planner and plan it in!
This can be in the form of something healthy – Meal Prep, meditation, yoga, exercise, healthy eating, cleaning the house (to feel less overwhelmed when it is done).

Or this can be pampering. Long baths, reading with warm socks, face masks, wine night with friends, eating out at your favourite restaurant, binge watching your favourite show, shutting off all devices and sleeping through the day, calling sick into work for a mental health day.

Know that you don’t have to enjoy it

This isn’t to say, do something you don’t enjoy. It just means, that you may not enjoy it as much as you think you should, or as much as you would like. That’s okay! There is no need to feel guilty or weird about it, that generally just makes things worse. Just know that you enjoy it more than the stress of everyday, it is something different, and it is something good. Make sure to do this as often as possible to give your life a good balance.

Don’t just work towards your goals

Although you should technically be working towards your goals every day, it shouldn’t be the only thing you do. Make sure to make time for other things. Make time for self care, for friends and family, for hobbies.

Doing nothing but working towards your goals doesn’t always mean it will happen faster. It also means you are so focused on it, you’ll be stressing yourself out more.

Hang out with friends or family. If you’re like me and sometimes feel like it is too much. Ask them to come to you, let them know whats been going on. Have them come to you if they can and do something low key. Sitting on the couch in your Pj’s is much more rewarding with someone else. The low key conversation and company will do wonders for your stress levels. Trust me, they don’t care if your place is a mess, if you’re a mess or anything that you feel needs to be done before they come over. If they do, they’re not real friends.

Don’t Worry If You Can’t

I am right there with you.
One week I’ll make sure to hit a coffee shop and read, or clean the apartment and feel good about it. Other times, other months I forget to take care of myself at all. I focus too much on my goals, or can’t see past the stress to find a way out of it.

At the moment, I feel stressed and defeated. Because I didn’t follow my own advice. However, everyday is a new day. I know these can work because they have worked for me before. I can get better. Things will get better, for both of us!